Searching for my Happily Ever After.

Not a lot happened today, I worked most of the day. Physics. We're supposed to study radiation. I've been writing random thoughts into a notepad recently. I've almost completely abandoned my written diary. Sorry Jenny... I love writing. I don't know why. Whenever I write something that I don't want anyone to read I write it in one of my many scripts. For example, runes. From Tolkein's The Hobbit or There and Back Again. I'm good at codes, ciphers and scripts. One of the things about me. I love making things up. I want to travel the world one day. The whole world. I haven't decided yet whether I want to travel alone or not. Of course, I'd probably travel with someone. It's safer. The world today is full of restrictions. No travelling without a passport, I can't travel alone because it's dangerous. But I am definately taking a gap year. I'm going to sit down some day soon and circle all the places I want to go. Maybe I'd be able to go to every country? What would it be like to travel, like the woman in Choclat does? Stay awhile and travel again. I'd have to bring a laptop so I could contact the people I've met. I could go to deserted places and just enjoy the solitude. I could visit Egypt again, and this time stay as long as I want. To go back to the Sunshine State and this time go to the Everglades. Brazil, the Amazon rainforest, the canals of Venice, The Eiffel Tower. Oh, I'd have to come back to my village. I couldn't leave it forever. But I want to go somewhere new, and stay as long as I want. Freedom?

I wonder if I'm related to anyone historic or famous? Not that it would matter. I'd also like to act. But acting, being famous, I wouldn't have the same freedom. Be famous, the illusion of freedom. People would recognise me. I like acting. I wonder what I'll get for GCSE Drama? Another C I suppose. Maybe a B? That wuld be nice. I love my friends. I'm glad I know them. But soetimes I want to just distance myself from them. There's nowhere to go here if I want to be alone. I could go to the golf course but I'd keep on walking. The rec in Swanmore, people. There's no point in being in the countryside and not being able to enjoy it. I walked up the hill next to the Methodist near One Stop a few days ago, and I could see for a few miles around. I realised that although it looks like one could walk through the beautiful emerald fields, one can't actually do that. They are all owned by someone and you'd be lucky if you could walk through them. There used to be a river I liked to go to in Mislington. We used to go there and catch the bullheads there. I'd dive off the bit where it suddenly gets deep, into the icy cold waters. It'd make me take a breath, but I'd never do that till I got to the surface, otherwise I'd drown. I loved that river. I can't get there anymore. Someone put a fence there and the river's dried up anyway. All the places I loved have been fenced off, gone, built over or dried up. The swamps where I used to make stories about how someone got murdered and thrown into the murky muddy waters in a black plastic bag. What freaked us all out is when we actually saw a large black plastic bag floating in the waters. The woods, or copse, a copse really, we all called it the woods though. I made up a murder story for that, too. A man with a sledgehammer killed his wife and two children, then took a gun to his head. I once heard footsteps in that copse. And I always got the feeling something was watching me. That's where I got the stories from. When I heard the footsteps I ran out of the woods and twisted my wrist. Ah, the overactive imagination of children.

The den at the school in France. I loved that place. I wouldn't fit now. Oh and the roof. The roof was cool. I couldn't get up there myself, I had to get Cristoph to lift me up. I was about 6. I'd easily get up now. Once I got stuck up one of the apparatus at the school and Christoph had to get me down. He's got a girlfriend now. I can't remember her name but she scares me. Whenever I give Cristoph a hug and the two kisses as is the custom with that side of my family she stares at me. Both of them are mentally handicapped. But she's so scary.

William is telling me to finish the entry. Well, actually, he's asking me if I've finished yet. I haven't but I might as well stop because I've got endless things to ramble about. Oh, if you can get why I've put the title as it is then good for you, you're on my wavelength!