Searching for my Happily Ever After.

There must be something really wrong with me. I'm feeling bad nearly all the time. I'm worrying all my friends and my attitude towards things are changing really rapidly. In my last entry I felt negative towards all my friends but they're here for me, I just don't think I can face them and tell my problems. I feel really guilty. Emma, I'm not going to slit my wrists, I'm not stupid. I don't want scars and anyhow I might end up killing myself and I don't want to do that, my life might suddenly decide it's going to get better.

But my mind is in turmoil. Ambiguity. Anger Sadness. Loneliness. But that is self inflicted. Some of it anyway. I feel lonely because none of my friends seem to understand me. With the exception of William. He understands, he's going through something similar. Wil wouldn't understnd. He's a great boyfriend and everything but I don't think he'd understand this depression. God, I hate this, I'm making everyone worry! I'm quiet because I'm trying not to cry or scream and kick something over. I'm gonna lose control of myself sooner or later though. Let us pray that it'll be sooner. Maybe I'll feel better.