Searching for my Happily Ever After.

Yesterday I was feeling so damn depressed. I isolated myself from everybody and barely talked or smiled. Nearly everybody noticed and kept asking me what was wrong but I wouldn't answer. I find it so hard to talk about how I feel. Writing it down's fine for me, I think that writing is my only outlet for my emotions. At breaktime and lunchtime I went straight off to the library and just sat there on my own in some corner reading my book (Strange Boy, dunno who by). In Biology I didn't do any work at all and sat there drawing a spider diagram of how I feel. Don't ask me why, I'm just strange like that. Well the page got really cluttered up with emotions and questions so in the end I had to stop. In Physics I simply stared into space, close to tears and very close to getting up, screaming at the top of my voice and kicking something. Preferably one of those bastards who are always bullying me and making snide comments at me. Also Mr. Morgan. I'll explain in a minuite. Emma kept on asking me what was wrong, and she seems to think that I'm mad at her or something, but I'm not. She asked me if what I wanted was to make everyone notice, but I said no. I don't know what I want. William looked pretty down too, and I did try to support him when a few people in class started making comments on him. I'm not exactly sure what they were commenting about but I could see he was feeling like ripping one of their heads off (like me, actually) so I tried to stand up for him. Unsuccesfully. I don't think anyone actually heard what I said to tem. Like I said, always ignored.

Okay, explanation about wanting to kick Mr. Morgan: We went to assembly (expecting to obtain a headache (Mrs Hillier was going to yell at us again)) and after Mrs. Hillier said her first bit Mr. Morgan took over for a while and started lecturing us about mobiles and uniform. He said that there was not ONE person who does not wear correct uniform. I have always worn correct uniform, right from the beginning of school! It's one of the things that has got me bullied so much! You can see why I wanted to hurt him now, can't you? (*start chainsaw* :p)

Today barely anyone from our group was here. Most of them have gone to the Derbyshire trip. I was feeling less depressed today, but I always had that underlying sadness there. I was more chatty and I smiled a lot too. Even though I don't feel like smiling that much at the moment.

Dannielle (from America!) and her family are coming over for tea today. I don't know how long they'll stay, they can't've come all the way over here just for tea at someones house! I'm looking forward to it, Danni and I are good friends. We've known each other since we were born. Seriously, no exaggeration there. We're having chicken for tea.