Searching for my Happily Ever After.

"I will continue always in this track until I shall find something that is certain, or at least, if I can do nothing more, until I shall know with certainty that there is nothing certain." - Descartes.

Hehe, brilliant. Did I tell you about my conversation with little Jake?

Jake, by the way, is one of the kids mum looks after. He is almost 4.
I was standing outside watching the kids play, and Jake comes up to me
"Kim, is there anything that you know that you don't know?"
Me doing philosophy latched onto this and decided it would be fun to confuse him.
"If I knew that I didn't know something, wouldn't that be knowledge?"
But then he surprised me by understanding me, and said, "But I know that you know things that I don't know."
This kid is three! Aw he's so sweet and smart. He talks some utter nonsense, like kids do. "Let's gather some pixie gerbils, then we can mix them up in this bucket of magic snargrass and we can fly to Paris! Yay!"
Such a little sweetie.

Well thinking about the little conversation with him, maybe there are two types of knowledge. Negative and positive knowledge. Positive knowledge being what I know, and I know I know it. And negative knowledge being what I don't know, but I know that I don't know it. And of course there is utter obliviousness, not knowing something and not knowing it! But don't ask for an example because I have negative knowledge that I know that I don't know what I don't know.

Hehe, did you follow all that? I think it's a plausible theory.

I came back from Nan's last night and was exhausted. This morning I went to work as usual. Early on in my shift a man came in and bought some lottery tickets. He said that I'd sold him a winner last week (I probably did, I have a bad memory for faces though, so I didn't recognise him and I won't recognise him when I see him next time, even though he's probably a regular). He said that since I'd sold him a winner last week I should have some of the money he got from it, and then gave me a pound! I was really surprised and amazed. What a kind and generous act! He insisted I have it, so I took it from him and thanked him loads. It was just really random and nice of him. It's a shame I won't recognise him next time I see him. Maybe I should just be nice to every male customer of his age (about 70ish) in that early part of the morning and hope for the best?

Work was good. I didn't have to think too much. I got to sign up for cover work during the summer so I'll have that little bit more money for University, which will cost �3000 for accomodation alone.

Onto the serious and potentially depressing stuff.
You know Dennis is now married to *practically spits out following name* Maxine? Oh wait, I shall see if I can use HTML to the best effect here. MAXINE. There. That should work on most computers. Yeah anyway. This is what has been transpiring, I've only found out today.

Yes, we all knew Maxine was going to be trouble. I mean, sure, Dennis is trouble too but Maxine.. Oh.. actually this is tied up with the police, maybe I should change names. Most people who read this know me and will probably know who it is I'm on about. Bah sod the changing names, I'll just use letters. *Pauses a bit to alter the names I've already written* Bah... Yeah if I change it then the effect will be gone. Okay, I'll just use letters from now on. God I'm taking a while to get to the point.

Okay. On Monday M came to Nan and Grandad's house in the middle of the night in just a nightie - no knickers, no shoes - and woke them up. She cried to Nan that D had kicked her out of their apartment. She was blinding piss-drunk and Nan told her to go away or she'd call the police. She didn't want her coming into the house drunk and upsetting both her and Grandad. So she sent M off with a coat since M was barely dressed..
Then on Thursday M showed up again in the early hours of the morning. Again she was only in a nightie and nothing else. Same story; she said that D had kicked her out. Again Nan told her to go away, and again she did.
Then they got a phone call from the Police.. yesterday I think. I think Auntie Pat picked up. They said that they'd arrested D for alleged assault on M.
Grandad is so upset that he's lost all of his recent LTM (Psychology speech. Mum said short term memory, but no, it's recent long term memory). Which means that five minutes after saying/asking something he's forgotten he even asked. Dad thinks he's shut himself up, like it's a defence mechanism. At least he won't remember what's going on right now. Nan's heart's started to go funny again, and she's in a bad way... so... that's the deal.
--
The time is now 11:30pm exactly. Mum's been gone (she was called to the police station even though she wants no part in this) for about 3 hours. No hint of her returning. When will she be back? Shit. Bloody Maxine. Damn Dennis. They were supposed to get him a member of a mental association like Mind, or at least a Doctor because he hasn't had any medication and the cell's not making him well. Yes it seems like he did hurt Maxine. She probably deserved it though. But.
I remember what he did when I was 4. His fist through the glass. Good job he's probably forgotten the way to our house. And that if he's telling the truth, then he'd be too scared to go outside even to get near us. But M, the drunken cow...

I think I'm going to make myself forget it all by listening to music and playing not pron deep into the night.

I'm on page 15 now.

Kim. Finished: 12:08mn

I took too long in writing this entry.