Searching for my Happily Ever After.

Greetings, 'tis I.

Nothing much has happened as of late - on Thursday 18th I went to see Grandad and Auntie Joy as promised. I bought eight rooden roses for him. And I did manage the song, although there were an awful lot of long pauses, sniffles and wavers scattered among his tune. I stayed and chatted to him for about 40 minutes before leaving the roses and the lyrics to the song on the grave and leaving.

Apologies if these words are spelt wrong - I have a really annoting keyboard at the moment - the keys are all loose. I can type a properly spelt entry when I get back home.

I'm doing pretty well in college. I just absolutely adore Japanese! Love it, love it, love it!! Ah, what a wonderful language, and so logical, too. Well at least in my opinion.

I'm Miss. Miss-Homework-Deadlines again. So soon already. I thought I'd last at least three months. Damnit.

You know, I really don't see the point in life right now. It just seems like one circular monotonous, meaningless mess. I mean, what is the point? I get up, drowsy and wanting to go back to sleep, to sleep forever, drag myself out of bed, missing breakfast, get dressed, washed, hurry to the bus-stop. I sit quietly on the bus feeling tired, miserable and panicked. I go to the library when we arrive, read a bit, go to class, learn somethings. I go to lunch, struggle with a bread roll, laugh, 'joke', I go home. I get home, barely eat any tea, make coffee, do work, and go to sleep again. There is no point to it all! No point! Everything just feels so meaningless, without any purpose or future. I feel helpless, tired, sad, annoyed, forced to do things I don't even want to do. I'm feeling pretty damned depressed right now.

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Heart: despairing

Ears: the mindless chatter of college drones

Eyes: Wil is sitting net to me.

Last eaten: An apple.
Last drunk: Apple juice.

Brain: I think I should go to sleep and never wake up.

Body: A white t-shirt with the American flag on it (present from Danielle), blue jeans, a grey jumper, black sock on my right foot, white sock on my left foot, nike trainers.

Last song/music heard: Mourning Air by Portishead

Last thing on the tv seen: The Simpsons

Last thing said: "What was the last thing I saw on the tellie?"

Novels currently reading: The Man Who Loved a Polar Bear
And also 1602