Searching for my Happily Ever After.

I'm listening to Garbage at a very very loud volume. I had to fiddle around with the headphones a bit before I got quality sound but it was worth it. God, I need new headphones. Garbage is great. Venting anger, Getting rid of sadness, or just to make yourself deaf! It's on track two - Queer at the moment. Nobody panic if I type random lyrics to the songs I'm listening to.

Right, proper entry now.

I went a little bit crazy over the weekend. Mainly Sunday. I apologise to anyone who knows what I'm on about for my craziness. Probably only one person who knows what I'm going on about.

If flesh could crawl
My skin would fall
From off my bones
And run away from here

With a little effort I got up and got dressed, ate breakfast and went to school. History, Nazis; Maths, revision; Break, boring, ate a banana; English; revising, I went to the computor room to alter my original coursework, Mr. McLeod said it was excellent and surreal, like a nightmare, Perfect; Lunch, two chocolate bars and grapes, the perfect lunch for an examination; which is what I had next, Biology exam, GCSE mocks. I left out two questions and did everything else. I think I've done excellently. There is a a brief summary of my day. In English, I leaned back in my desk at one point, to see what Kat and Kate were doing. "Go away Kim!" Kate pushed me away. While Alice, who was doing the exact same thing was allowed to stay. Kate is always pushing me away. When I'm not doing anything. I know I'm annoying but please, Kate, only have a go at me when I deserve it. After school I went to the library instead of going to after school lessons like I was supposed to. I'll probably get in trouble for not going. I was, instead of revising there with my friends. I left for a brief bit and when I returned. William: "Oh nooo!"

I completely overreacted. I'm just too extreme. I hate that. He was only joking but I've been getting it so much. "Oh no, look who it is it's KIM even though she's our friend we'll just hate her and not want her and push her away, because she's always hyper and it doesn't matter anyway coz she can't feel anything, she has no feelings so it doesn't matter to her that she's always told to bloody well shut up or sod off and leave us alone, oh no, she doesn't fucking well mind." I'M NOT ALWAYS FUCKING HYPER! I HAVE FEEEELINGS!!! I know I'm bloody extreme and I'm sorry but if I'm your friend, don't friends put up with each other? Worthless. Fucking worthless..!

Anyway I overreacted like I said and stormed off to another table with my back to them. If they don't want me, then I'll go. William came over a little later and.. oh I can't remember what he said.. but I remember I started crying. Absolutely appalled at myself I got up and went over to the computers and logged on, to get away from him. I can't believe I cried. I NEVER cry in public. I just.. don't. Anyway I was very quiet all the rest of the day and I left my two friends when I took the shortcut, which I hardly ever take, back home.

Everyone I know has gone away
Died or left or just forgot to stay
Sometimes took for granted
Sometimes turned away
Sometimes didn't say what
I meant to say

Wow, I think I've gone deaf. I'm on Fix me Now, the penultimate track.

I shall leave you now.

Thank you to the few people who actually put up with me and accept me for who I am. And not treat me like dirt.

Seriously, my opinions of two certain people are not very high at the moment. Stop pushng me away. I know you despise me, so why do you continue the masqurade of friendship?