Searching for my Happily Ever After.

Greetings,

This entry may be cut short due to me having to go to work shortly.

On the bus home I asked myself why the heck do I keep avoiding writing the things which are really on my mind in here? If I write them in here, then other people may be able to see what I've written. Is that such a bad thing, Kim? No, because people can learn something from here (occasionally, heh) and some people may be able to sympathise and help. So I have resolved to, at least for a little while, pour my heart out to my friends and strangers by means of this electronical journal.

Well before getting around to the main thing on my mind, I shall say the normal stuff about my day.

I woke up at five past seven - noo! In the five frantic minutes that ensued I got dressed, drank some apple juice and ran out of the door. Not even enough time for the normal morning routines. Luckily I managed to make the bus - just! I sat and panted the rest of the way. Damned alarm clock.

Wandered from lesson to lesson.. on the way home I joined in with the boys and bus-surfed - great fun. There was this little boy, about 7, who was cursing and being generally violent. He reminded me of my second cousin Martin. Damned violent kid.

Must dash. xxxxx

~Edit 22:33~

Hello again, I have returned from my job. At one point I got sooo bored that I attacked myself with the pricing gun. Hehehe. Okay so I'm rather tired now so apologies for another short update.

What is really on my mind

Please bear with me if this makes no sense, I'm tired. But William suggested I do this now instead of wait 'till Sunday so ok.
Well I've been worrying about a certain thing for a long time now, and that is the matter of my mental health, as you might have realised. What it is is that I think I may have a form of OCD, Obsessive Compusive Disorder. The very first time I watched Monk I recognised a bit of myself in him. I realised that most of the things he did in that show, I'd done too, which led me to think about whether I may have the same disorder (obviously not as bad, of course). So I did some research into it and thought "This is me. I do all that." which got me a little worried to say the least. I've cleaned my hands so much that they've ended up raw at times, I straighten things, I check that the doors are shut over and over again, and the same with the lights, I touch things habitually, I never touch door handles.. I really fear I have the disorder. Lately the 'symptoms' have gotten worse, I don't know why. But it's fustrating. What should I do about this?

So there we are. Most of my fears out there in cyber space. Thanks for listening.

Kim xxx